My life is Real

Elite Commissions is LIVE

phil — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 03:00:57 +0000

Elite Commissions Launch Postponed

phil — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 03:00:51 +0000

The full version of Elite Commissions has been postponed to add in new information that adheres to new clickbank policies. It seems that the full version will contain new information about earning commissions with clickbank, than the pre launch version of Mike Somerville’s Elite Commissions had included.

Here is a screen shot and a video of the members area showing the introduction to module four

Module 4 is about E-mail marketing and building a reliable list of contacts and leads.

Here is a video inside the members area of Elite Commissions

Since the pre launch I have started a new clickbank account so I can track everything new that I try with this product.

Elite Commissions Review – short

phil — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 03:07:04 +0000

See, I found a copy of Elite Commissions from the early launch. I have found a lot of information I didn’t know before in the manuals.

If you’re not familiar with the set up of the course. It comes in a rather large zip file. The zip can be opened and there are an array of modules to choose from. There are videos for every part of the .pdf files to follow along with. I haven’t dug in too deep but …

What I’ve done are a few little tweaks to this site from what I’ve learned so far. Actually I believe this morning I discovered that I rank #1 for “Elite Commissions Scam” on google’s search engine.

Thats pretty cool I thought. The chapter I had read said at least top 10 rank on page 1 or 2 …. but I got #1 on page 1 of the search results .

.. I’ll continue reading and post a full review later.

Incoming search terms:

@iafrica com -2009-2012

Who is Michael “Mike” Somerville?

phil — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 23:06:39 +0000

Who is Michael “Mike” Somerville?

today I found a early release of the elite commissions product online. It was for a pretty modest price I thought. I have heard of Mike Somerville before well atleast seen his name.

See, he was apart of another pretty successful product launch for marketers called the FB trainer.

“Fbtrainer is a comprehensive Facebook business suite of marketing sources and lead funnel systems for Facebook traffic”

That’s what it says on the products website, they even have a facebook page that’s pretty popular.

“FBtrainer on the other hand, is complete. Everything you will ever need for a successful Facebook based online business is included in this program – applications, fan page templates, video tutorials, custom copy/paste scripts, manuals, PDFs… – just to name a few.”

-was told me by another marketer.

I actually am kind of interested in this course. I’m going to try it out for my fan page that I want to start to market to more.

After I check out this Elite commissions course first of course… or maybe just start both at once…

What is Elite Commissions all about?

phil — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 23:06:39 +0000

I am a full time affiliate marketer. I was told by other affiliate marketers that a new opportunity created by Michael Sommerville should be very successful. Like other product launches I have participated in, I am extremely interested in what the new course will contain. I will investigate Michael Somerville’s Brand New Course – Elite Commissions and see what the hype is all about. I will be documenting my view inside the product once it’s released. I am looking forward to see if there will be any new tactics I can add to my current marketing campaigns.

Skyrim Game Of The Year Edition

phil — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 23:06:32 +0000

Marie asks…

will there be a special edition skyrim?

also how long does it take for them to come out with a game of the year edition

Phil answers:

I would imagine there will be a collectors edition or some type of special edition,i think there usually is with the elder scrolls series.i guess it depends on how many dlc come out for the game and how many of them are going on the game of the year edition.with oblivion there are 8 other dlc that you can get for the pc and xbox 360 versions of the game but not on the ps3 unfortunately,but none of those made it on the game of the year,just the shivering isles and knights of the nine.so i guess it depends on what content they want on it.hope this helps.have fun gaming.

Graham asks…

collectors edition games.?

with all the new hype of these video games coming out, it seems like 2011 is going to be one solid year of gaming. I have never purchased a collectors edition before because i never saw the point. I want the 150 dollar skyrim collectors edition but i dont know if it will be worth it. Should i buy the collectors edition and a regular skyrim game as well? (i know the collectors comes with a disc). I just want to keep the collectors edition for potential value in the future?. Any body have any advive?

Phil answers:

I think it will be worth money in the future-you just cant tell it all depends how many is made and just how people will like it-well people like it alright so it will have fame,150 is alot but if you can afford it go for it and get a separate game as well-i would just get the collectors and take a good care of it if someday i want to sell it.
I literally dont have space for a dragon statue in my room)))thats the only problem but i always liked art books(you dont see many games with an art book that is 200 pages long) and a map thats made out of good paper(like the one anniversary oblivion came with if you fold those and then unfold it,they wont have any bend marks on them)i need to get a picture frame and put it in there
the only thing i guess they should have done is make it a steelbook case-idk why they didnt or maybe its there but nobody pays attention and slips this info through
its a good dragon statue its probably heavy and it will not look cheap cause its made by good company idk how heavy it is-i think its gonna have some good weight on it
the way i get games is choose to get a collectors that i really like and you can get exclusive items so then i can get all the other games later on cause they will be in stock and probably go cheaper…for example im not getting batllefield 3,ico/shadow of collosus HD,metal gear HD,nfs the run,assasins creed revelations but im gonna get uncharted 3 collectors for the ring(i like rings)however i dont care for a belt bukle or a figure that comes with it oh and a steelcase is good
my answer is GET IT-get it because you want it – thats enough reason and dont have any doubts because if you dont get it,then you will think of it and regret it later-they wont be on sale in stores everyday its a big edition and stores will only MAYBE carry it on special orders IF they will agree-many places try not to carry or order very litlle (like 1 per store)gamestop wont have it im sure of it-they said before that its a very limited edition but many companys say it just to get more orders however i think they wont make that many so get it and enjoy many hours of great adventures in SKYRIM

Bob asks…

how does game of the year work?

i wanna get skyrim but im gona wait a few extra years for the game of the year edition to come out because i got screwed by this 2 times now oblivion and fallout 3 i know they will make one but is game of the year like one big dlc or can i start a game on the G.O.T.Y. it self i play on the xbox 360 and i dont have live so i cant get dlc so do i need the game to get game of ther year edition? Or can i get the G.O.T.Y. on its own with out needing a saved game already from the original game

Phil answers:

GOTY editions are the whole game with some or all of the dlc released up to the date of the release of the GOTY – so you can get the original if you want but if your going to get the GOTY edition as well and don’t want to spend the money for both you should just get the GOTY edition – you can also sometimes buy the dlc as stand-alone discs that you need the original game for

Joseph asks…

How much time Skyrim have?

I took 214 hours to beat Oblivion, I was playing the game of the year edition with the DLCs.
the question is Skyrim is that long?
if you beat the game 100% can you tell me how much time did you take?

Phil answers:

You can’t complete Skyim, it will keep generating new quests for you to complete. The only time there will be no quests is when either your console breaks, or when the disk breaks.

Nancy asks…

Is this a good video game deal?

I got Red Dead Redemption Game Of he Year Edition ($29.99), Gears Of War 1 – 2 Disc Edition- ($14.95), and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim ($49.99), all adding up to $94.93. They are all Brand New, Never opened. Is this a good deal?

Phil answers:

Yeah that is a good deal

Incoming search terms:

skyrim codes or glitches

Laugh Out Loud Cats

phil — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 03:03:29 +0000

Lisa asks…

Can a cat laugh out loud?

can a cat lol?

phil answers:

Yes actually, it is proved that they can. So can dogs

Very cute!

Susan asks…

What does it mean when your cat attacks you?

Well, me and my friend werw playing with my cat, and we went to get some food in the kitchen and we were laughing loud. My cat hissed once, but I thought she was yawning, and then she did it again and we ran into the living room. The cat then chased us and pounced on my friend and she pushed her off. Then we ran. See, we can’t figuire out why she attacked. Also when we ran into my room after she pounced, she was pacing back and forth in front of the door. Help us please! Please I need good answers.

phil answers:

She got over excited and went into defense mode. THe loud laughing (to a cat) can sound like a cat fight and get them more stressed. Cats are calm quiet animals and this was too much excitement for her, it seems like fun but petting and play periods need to be short and calm with cats. Watch ur friends, some may not understand how to act around a pet and dont care the way you do about ur pet. When u have friends over the cat is not amusement for them, also the running away and all the drama brought out ur cats defense mode…. Cats do not think like humans. Your cat was scared and trying to fight back to protect herself.. Be careful around her and u have to be very calm and earn her trust back… Good luck and take care Oh ya also dont make the mistake of letting ur cat chase or bite on ur fingers , hands or feet even in play, it quickly can turn to aggression.. It is training ur cat to attack u. Some people think its cute to get the kitty all worked up when its a baby, then when its teeth are half an inch long and the cat has learned to bite and scratch people now they complain their cat is mean and vicious.. Take care, thanks for asking, good luck… I would shut my cat in an unused room with food water and a litter box when ur friends come over, and definitely if u r going to lol, scream or horse around in the house with the cat around, u guys go outside.. As I said dont trust ur friends even the nicest ones may not understand cat behaviour. And I caught one of my kids “friends” teasing my dog and aggravating her when she thought we werent looking…AND of course if the dog had bitten her it would have been all the dogs fault.. No fair..

Bob asks…

Can you make someone LAUGH OUT LOUD without someone suffering some form of pain or suffering or humiliation?

Can you make someone LAUGH OUT LOUD…a full on belly-laugh…WITHOUT someone or some thing (like a cat or a dog) suffering some form of PAIN or SUFFERING or HUMILIATION? I say “NO WAY!”
Please show me with an example…where YOU said something that made someone LOL without someone suffering some form of consquence.
omg…”self-deprecating humor” causes other people to laugh at YOU and the PAIN you are suffering. Rodney Dangerfield was the king in that department.
I need an example…

phil answers:

Yes, I can and I have.

Because I find humour in things where people don’t normally look for it. That is what good stand-up comedians do.

Shelley asks…

did you laugh out loud?

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the Flight Attendant. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the Flight Attendant. The busy Flight Attendant smiled, and said, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?” The boy said, ” Yes, she did.” “Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you.
maybe it was funnier to me because i know a flight attendant and some of her stories crack me up.

phil answers:

Oh i get it.

Joseph asks…

Have you ever laughed hysterically from messages on myspace?

I feel like a loser sitting here with my cat, laughing out loud to messages from my friend. Haha. =]
No, I only have one cat for now, and yeah, I talk to her. =]

phil answers:

I laugh cry and blush lol its normal…all my sisters do 2 lol

Incoming search terms:

How To Write A Killer Comedy Skit?

Funny Jokes For Adults

phil — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 03:03:28 +0000

Marie asks…

Nasty but funny Jokes!!! ADULTS ONLY!!!?

These two guys (we’ll call them Jack and Paul) really waited a few drinks but didn’t have enough money.
“I have an idea!” says Paul. He takes the money, runs into a supermarket and comes out with a sausage.
“Okay here’s the plan. We’ll go into a bar, order a few drinks and when the bartender asks for the money, I’ll pull this sausage out of you pants and suck.” Jack wasn’t sure. “Trust me it will work.” Paul reassured so Jake puts the sausage in his pants.
So they go into a bar, order some drinks and down them. When the bartender asked the money, Paul kneels down, unzips Jake’s fly and starts sucking on the sausage.
“You sick b@stards! GET OUT OF MY BAR!” yells the bartender. So they get thrown out. “See it worked!” says Paul. So they walk into several bars and do this for the whole night. At midnight, Paul falls on the ground. “Man, my knees are killing me!”
“You think that bad?” says Jack. “I lost the sausge at the second bar.”

phil answers:

Its funny-Star for your sausage….

Shelley asks…

What are some funny jokes that are not rude to anybody or anything and are good for adults?

I have to say a funny joke in front of a bunch of adults

phil answers:

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a sedan.

What do you call 3 holes in the ground? Well, well, well…

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh (much better when spoken. Fff-shhh. I promise, try it)

and that is the extent of my clean jokes.

Mark asks…

Funny Jokes for adults?

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”

Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

phil answers:

Thats a good one and its also one i havent heard before.Keep em coming

Thomas asks…

Looking for some really funny jokes?

Looking for some really funny jokes adult ones would be good. Thanks

phil answers:

Ask cha cha – text, 242 242

Jemima asks…

funny jokes & rhymes for adults?

phil answers:

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”
The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”
The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”
The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.”

“This birthday cake certainly is crunchy.”
“Maybe you should spit out the plate!

Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.

Incoming search terms:

jokes for adults only
adult funny jokes

Jokes About Short People

phil — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 03:03:28 +0000

Daniel asks…

I need good jokes about short people plz help?

I don’t have anything against short people its just this girl I know is short and she won’t stop calling me just about every 5 minutes and she siad she would stop if I could make her laugh with a joke about how short she is

phil answers:

Ask her if she’s the ambassador of the Lolly-pop Kingdom.

Mike asks…

What are some jokes short people can make fun of themselves with?

Im running for student council (7th grade VP) and im short and everyone always makes jokes about it lol and so i want my slogan to have something to do with my height:) Thank you answers needed soon!

phil answers:

I can help you in a “short” amount of time!

Jim asks…

Does anybody know any short people jokes?

There’s this girl and she always picks on me. I want to pick on her back. The only fault that she has is that she is short. Please I need some really good ones. Tto make her feel bad about herself. I just want to be a bitch like she is.

phil answers:

Let me get that for ya.

Wait I think you been drinking milk

bet you can get your pants on like really fast

you a little short on cash

do you have short term memory

ummm you know what I am craving some short cake (non for you right)

look a yard sell maybe they got some baby clothes

no no no I said I wanted shrimp for dinner.

Does the world smell different to short people?

Poor _____ always gets the short end of the stick.
You’re going to the amusement park? Can you get on the adult rides yet?
Short sheet his bed and laugh when he doesn’t notice.
Could you help me out at work tomorrow? We are short handed.
Looks like you pulled the shortest straw huh ______?
Can we have shortcake for dessert? It’s ______’s favorite

have you ever thought about playing baseball because you’d be perfect for playing SHORTstop

do u want to be taller? Then stand around babies and you’ll look AT LEAST a couple INCHES taller

wow those shoes make u look soo tall!! You look a little taller than Gary Coleman now!

I wonder how old you were when you when you got you growth spurt? I guess it never happened

Helena asks…

Websites with jokes about short people?

I need jokes about short people to tell to one of my friends. We’re pretty tight so anything would work. Preferably a URL would be nice. Thank you!

Please no individual jokes unless you can’t give me a website.

phil answers:

Ur so short, youre mama was a dwarf and ur dad was a mice

BEASTALITY!!!

Davina asks…

Short people short jokes?

so i cant find any short people jokes and i need the comeback like ones. there s a dude and he is short and i am tall and he is a rude lil dude and i need jokes. today we were talking about rainbows and he said he liked rainbows and i said. great there perfect for you all u need is yo potaa gold and you of to the end of it

phil answers:

When you were a child did your parents have to buy 2 booster seats?
Hey were you in starwars cause i think you were yoda.
You should smoke some weed, it makes u feel HIGH.
Hey man “Low Five!” wats down? Err i mean up
hey how do you travel to school? A MINIVan?
Hey man I’m SHORT on money could you i borrow some?
Hey i watched the movie little man, did i see u in the movie?
I was watching honey i shrunk the kids, were you in that movie?

Does your dad have to lean down to give u a hug?
(joke for a short girl) can i ask you a personal question? Do you have a.. Bbb.b.bbb..boosterchair?

How To Be A Comedian On Youtube

phil — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 03:03:28 +0000

Wayne asks…

How do you switch from being a director to a comedian on youtube?

Please answer
I did it before but now I dont know what to do

phil answers:

Go to My account/Channel info/ look where it is written “channel Type” and click on “change type”

Lisa asks…

how do i get loads of youtube subs and views?

Hi am a comedian on youtube who makes videos like freds i want to popular and become in the most subbed list can anyone give me tips or even sub or comment or view

my link is

http://www.youtube.com/user/HarryTVtime

please sub
the person who can give me the most subs gets 10 points

phil answers:

Most youtube top subscribers have good editing skills.

If you have no editing skills and you can’t cut out parts your video will be like 10 mins long and when I see a video 10 minutes long of someone talking I won’t even watch it.

You need good editing skills, a topic, and a quality camera.

O yea I hate fred, his videos are annoying and stupid its not real comedy.

Kylee asks…

how do i become popular on youtube?

My friend ethan and i created a youtube account and we are youtube comedians – somewhat similar to smosh

youtube.com/glasdado

phil answers:

Obviously, make funny & interesting videos with your best. Use a high quality camera in making it. That’s simply why Smosh is so popular.

Anyway, if you want subscribers badly, quick & fast, use these techniques in getting some:

● Sub4sub
- It’s like a ‘deal’ wherein people will subscribe you if you’ll subscribe them. Mostly done at Fred’s page (youtube.com/fred)

● Sub bots
- make an account wherein you make people subscribe your original account

John asks…

my comedian channel on youtube has a show listed. i want to remove the show. how?

its beene there for over a month and the show is long past. how do i remove it from my channel?

****NOTE: i changed from comedian to director and back again but that didnt work.

phil answers:

It could be the cookies !

Susan asks…

How to sell merchandise?

How do you make a website to sell merchandise over the internet…Like take Smosh for example (2 comedians on youtube) they sell all kinds of their merchandise(shirts,hat etc.) on their website, How do they do that? How do they add all the features on the website, like when you hit add to cart how do you do all that and how do you get it to process everything…Also is there any licensing needed to do this? Also I don’t want to hear about Ebay.
Best answer WILL be given..

phil answers:

What you are asking entails a lot but isn’t difficult. However there are many thing you want to take into consideration first, before you make an e-commerce website. Here is an article by entrepreneur.com to give you some ideas.

Http://www.entrepreneur.com/ebusiness/howtoguides/article84250.html

Here is a link to an American based website company that I personally have used for clients. Here you can register a domain name, hosting, site design. And they actually help you with setting up an e-commerce site or a personal site if you wish.

Tip: No matter which hosting pakage you choose through hostway they offer you unlimited bandwidth. Which most hosting companies don’t offer. You don’t want to be charged extra for exceeding monthly bandwidth.

Http://www.hostway.com/